Setting modesty aside, I can say that I am indeed a nice person BUT I easily get irritated. I can classify this into two types: mild and serious. Mild irritation makes me feel hatred towards something or usually someone for a short period of time that once I have blurted it out I start to feel okay. I like it because I don't have to bear grudges in my heart. However, the other one is difficult to deal with.
I usually don't hate people in a serious level unless I have a reason. I cannot really assess why or how but based on my observation I feel this type of hatred whenever someone does a bad thing and just get away with it easily and even have the face and guts to appear as the opposite of what and who he/she is. I don't know why it is such a big deal for me when in truth it is really none of my business. Is it insecurity? Insecurity in a sense that others can do something bad and they don't feel guilty and I can't do the same. Sometimes I suddenly feel like I'm playing god that I want these people to be punished - that is why I feel serious hatred towards them.
I will not say that I am a righteous person but maybe I am self-righteous sometimes. As much as possible I try my best to do the right things although this is really a struggle in the real world. And because of this, I also want other people to do the same and since I can't control everyone, people who walk this life guilt-free with their wrongdoings get my serious-level hatred.
But I am not a god to be judgmental because even our real God is not. Nor am I a lawyer to question people. Right now, I am trying my best to let others live their lives considering that it is none of my business. On the other side, this attitude is actually just a result of my care for others and I am just afraid that along the way, I might just stop caring for those people too.
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