My take aways from the Oprah interview with Meghan and Harry

 

1. Facts and truth are not the same. Two plus two equals four is a fact. Fact is an established and indisputable idea based on empirical research, calculations, and quantifiable measures.

Truth, on the other hand, will always be associated with one's emotions, perspective, beliefs, and other aspects that influence one's view. One's truth might say that s/he was being attacked by someone but that someone's truth might say that s/he was just being playful. Regardless of the consequences, they both might just be telling the truth -  their own truths. The versions of truths may vary depending on who and how many are involved in a situation. That's the tricky part because we are all entitled to our own truths.

2. You cannot invalidate someone else's experience and cry for help just because you went through something similar or worse and got through it. We all suffer differently, we cope differently, and so when someone explicitly asks for help, the only thing that should be given is help or assistance to get that help.

3. Sometimes, when someone famous people ask for privacy, maybe what they're really asking is for the negative publicity to stop - most especially if the negative publicity is the opposite to their truths. Speaking out in an international interview may seem contradictory to the cry for privacy but maybe they reached a breaking point for not being heard and that they wanted their version of the truth to be out in the open as a way to defend themselves when no one else speaks for them.

Hello, again!

Oh well, look who's back! It's me, again!
It's been more than two years since my last post. Between then and now, a LOT has happened.

Where do I begin?

Hmmm... I got my Ph.D. (yeyyy!), I got married (yeyyy, again!), returned to and resigned from work (meh), got pregnant and had a miscarriage (another post about this because I can't go down that tragic memory lane for now), got a new job then resigned again, then got a new job but had to be on leave of absence for my postdoc (yeyyy, again!)

Whenever I get the time to look back at everything, it always amuses me how things change. How at one point, we feel like we are trapped, but in hindsight, we're just grateful we're able to survive and hope that we don't go through all those difficulties again. 

Things do really change but for me, I guess what's constant is my struggle to fight my anxiety and depression. Since my last post, I went through two series of medications but they were all temporary.

I'll probably make a different post about them because I don't want this post to be about the struggles but just to say 'Hello, again!'. I'll try to update this blog more often. Until next time!

Photo from https://i.pinimg.com/564x/f4/f7/6b/f4f76bc6813d50f1d89b90b230a88595.jpg

They don’t understand!

Content/Trigger WARNING: Anxiety | Depression | Suicide

Depression - REAL depression is a mental disorder. It is DIFFERENT from being emotional and illogical as a reaction towards an event. People don’t take it seriously because they don’t understand. They don’t understand because many have used the term incorrectly so frequently that people think it’s just “being sad”. IT IS NOT! Depression episodes occur even when nothing bad or negative happens to a person with this disorder. They just snap. It’s that feeling of not being able to control your own brain - your own voice arguing with yourself and feeding you with bad and negative thoughts about random things or just about everything and anything. You struggle to get your own brain back from these voices - your own voices!

I am a highly functional individual. One who is very productive, educated, professional, and I would say I’ve achieved things and would achieve many more. I have nothing to complain about in my life. BUT I AM NOT OKAY. The people around me, my family, my boyfriend, my friends - THEY ALL DON’T UNDERSTAND what I’m going through. Episodes that last for a week - just crying, fighting voices, talking to myself, not feeling hungry. 

Why did I become like this? Who is to blame? Science? The chemicals in my brain? Probably. Or straight-up yes. And I’ve had a difficult childhood. Grew up in a very problematic household where I rarely feel love. With all that I’ve been through, people say that I should be proud I overcame all the challenges. But all those hardships traumatized me. They made paranoid. They caused me an anxiety disorder. I have this haunting fear of the uncertain. And I cannot live a normal and happy life. BUT AGAIN, PEOPLE AROUND ME DO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT. I can’t even understand it myself. All these voices, all the fighting over my brain, it’s so difficult. I don’t know what to do anymore. The easiest option is just to give up and just kill myself - and then my suffering in this world would end. Or I can be strong and fight my demons - but I can’t! I’m trying and struggling and suffering. I’m going crazy! I am going crazy! I appreciate words of support, positive words, hugs, kisses - BUT THAT’S NOT GONNA CURE ME! I need medical attention but who cares? They all think I’m okay. No one understands. I just stare into the ceiling and contemplate - is this the right time to give up? How should I do it? Overdose? Hang myself? I want to shoot myself so it’s quick but I don’t have a gun. Or should I just wait it out and spend all my energy to pretend to be normal and just be okay and fine and just one day end it?

Sometimes, you can save someone from themselves. But most often, you can save someone simply because you do not understand what they are going through - and most of the time, you will never ever understand - just like nobody understands me. I will just have to continue suffering until death decides it’s time to end.

Photo from https://www.psycom.net/depression-definition-dsm-5-diagnostic-criteria/

Meditating v3 - Am I a Loser?

Content/Trigger WARNING: Anxiety | Depression

Am I a loser?

In the past few weeks, I often found myself asking that question.
Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful to God for all the blessings that he has given me and is continuously giving me. After all the challenges that life has brought me, here I am, a survivor and still fighting to survive. I appreciate every little achievement that I have but I can't seem to shake off the feeling of being a loser. For some reason, I feel like I lack in something - something I don't understand.

I believe that aside from God, the only person who can decipher my puzzling personality is myself. Although I really can't figure out what is wrong, I will list them to probably help me answer my question.

1. I am not a friendly nor a sociable person. I only have very few friends. I am afraid of being rejected. I am very selective of the people whom I show who I am as a person. I am not comfortable being friends with everybody.
2. I am not adventurous. If I have extra time, I would rather spend it reading a book or staying at home busy with my phone or computer [See #1].
3. When I focus on my goal, I do exactly that --- focus! Right now, I am pursuing my Doctor's Degree and like what I have said, I am focused on it. Exams, requirements, paper works - these are the things that motivate me and give me purpose. I feel empty during sem breaks.

I can add more things to the list but then I realized that those things are related to the 3 listed above. If I would really push myself to point out the reason why I feel this way, I would say it's reason #1. I don't have social skills, whether in person or online. Some people may not be good to socialize in person but are virtually everyone's BFF --- but not me. Even on Facebook, I only have very few people that I actually interact with in comments or in private messages.

Anyway...

I love my life. I appreciate my life.
But out of nowhere, sometimes I just can't help but ask, "Am I a loser?"

My alter ego: We are all winners with God and in God.

Peace. Love. Happiness.

Meditating v2 - What do I want to do?

Life allows us to do things that we love.
Life allows us to explore things we don't love but might end up loving.

The things that we want to do vary based on a lot of things - our passion, status, interests, environment, abilities, and many more.

Tonight, I found myself asking the question "What do I want to do?"

What are the things that I would dedicate my time and energy to that would make me feel fulfilled?

I tried to answer the question and as of now came up with this list:

1. To be educated and to educate.
I love being a student. I love to go to school and learn and take exams and get good grades. I really enjoy it that sometimes I feel like it is my purpose in life. And then as it turned out, I also have a passion for teaching. And I am blessed that at this point in my life, I am able to do both, be a student and a teacher.

2. To write.
I love writing very much. I know in myself that I have the burning passion for it BUT until now I still haven't found my niche in writing. I am happy I get to write every now and then for my blog but still I know I dreamt of more. But I won't stop dreaming and finding the light. *wink*

3. To do "genius" things in my field.
I am a computer science professional. I can't call myself a "computer scientist" as of now because I have yet to earn the right to be called as such. The "genius" things I am referring to is basically research stuff but those that are very intellectually challenging enough and have contributed or will contribute new knowledge to the society. Right now, I am already taking steps towards this path and I pray that I would be able to achieve this and hopefully allow myself to consider me a "scientist".

4. To travel and explore places.
I grew up aware of the financial struggles my parents had when we started gradeschool until college. I was brought up with the mindset that money is hard to earn and that we must value it and that we only spend it on necessities. Travel is not on that list of necessities and so we rarely went (or almost did not go) on vacation nor travelled anywhere (except during annual excursions sponsored by the company where my father worked). So when I became an adult and already earning, I was reluctant to spend money just to travel and explore until recently. I don't understand how it happened, but it seemed like an epiphany when all of a suddent I realized that I love to travel. I had it in me all along but was clouded by my idea that it is a waste of money. (Although in reality, it does require time and money). Nevertheless, I know that if it is God's will that I can do it, He would help me achieve it. Who knows? I might be able to travel to my dreamland Paris. (Yes, Paris, the ultimate place I dream to go to).

I have 4 on my list now but as the days go by, I know this list can have more things on it.

It is such a liberating feeling to be able to know (and even make a list of) the things that we want to do in life. We might not be able to do all of them but just "knowing what you want" is already a huge step in knowing one's self. And I believe that knowing thyself is significant in living a meaningful life.


Peace.Love.Happiness.
Posted via Blogaway

In the Sky

i just realized that over the years, a decade maybe, i lost a lot..
i lost my passion for my art, my creativity.

i used to be passionate about writing, literature, poetry..
and i just lost it.

i used to create poems, a lot of them..
beautiful ones but now are gone.

i can't recall when, how, or why..
or maybe they're not lost..
just floating in the sky.

Meditating v1 - Relationships

can't sleep yet.. and as usual..
i'm in a reflective mood..
thinking about "relationships"...
over analyzing...

a relationship (in the context of love - whether family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, etc.) is indeed very complex...

it takes an endless effort and countless factors to keep any relationship "alive"...
otherwise, it will slowly wither and die...

putting effort and doing one's part to nurture the relationship is a choice...
it is a decision that we must make not once but on a daily basis...
it is a commitment that we must value and renew everyday...

if we feel that the relationship is becoming weak, it must be our responsibility to nourish it with love in different forms...

and we must remember that the complexity of a relationship is brought about by the individual complexity of the people involved in it...
therefore, efforts must not come from one party only but from everybody...

if one has decided to sever from the relationship...
then it will be like a complex machine with a missing part...
no matter how polished the other parts are, the machine will still definitely not work...

and most importantly, a relationship must be guided by the Author of Love... God.

Peace.Love.Happiness.




http://36.media.tumblr.com/130559cf5574788a7ff6c201e6a5ec4e/tumblr_nr9weefTlE1tfjxdjo1_1280.jpg

Grad Student #Hugot

I was ENTERING the campus this afternoon (on my way to my class) when I realized that a lot of people were actually going the opposite direction - they were going OUT of the campus. Well, it's not because of any untoward incident inside the campus like bomb threat or earthquake. They were going out because they were supposed to - it was past 5 in the afternoon, the sun is slowly setting in, and the moon is peeking out. But me? I am one of the few people who are walking towards the campus to attend my class. It has been like this for that past few weeks since the classes started but maybe I was just so preoccupied that I was not able to pay attention to it until today. And as I was walking, a very common Filipino line (from a movie) occurred to me, "Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako." Rephrasing the line, I then kept telling myself, "Pauwi na sila, papasok pa lang ako."

I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this #hugot (hashtag hugot) line. Not only graduate students who have classes at night but also those whose work is scheduled in American/Western time (usually BPO employees).

Time has changed, indeed. Not even the setting of the sun can dictate what we should or should not be doing. Not even the appearance of the moon can tell us that we must sleep.

But when it comes to sleeping, all I can say is:



http://img.ifcdn.com/images/a3e78c5e80268fd827b10aa149591d8b92214ec502e5a9a1740f4438ac6e92ac_1.jpg


Peace.Love.Happiness.

Happy 9 years of Twisted Thoughts!

It's been 9 years since I started this blog.
Its contents and how the mood of this blog changes somehow represent the changes that happened in my life. Although I'm not able to update this blog on a regular basis, I still feel like this blog has somehow became an extension & witness of my life in  its own little way.

Happy 9 years to my twisted thoughts!

Thankful...

My random thoughts...
     being thankful...
          being faithful...
               being hopeful...


I have a lot of things to be thankful for from the past year.. 2014 brought a lot of challenges in my life but the fact that I was able to survive and to move on means I have conquered those challenges.

I can still remember the things that made me cry, made me upset, made me feel like I wanna give up... but what I remember more are the blessings that God gave me and my loved ones. I know I am more of a pessimist that an optimist but looking back at how blessed I was in 2014 reminds me that life is about having faith in God. It is about believing that Someone up there knows the best for us. Yes, we may have plans for our life. I do. In fact, my plans are very detailed. But I try my best to always remind myself to surrender everything to God - do what I can do and surrender the rest to Him. Whatever happens, whether it's according to what I have in mind or not, I have to keep my faith that God's plan is always the best for me. I may not like it but I have to trust that it is never the worst.

It is not easy to always think positively and that good things will eventually happen especially for people like me - idealistic, pessimistic, cynical (IKR). But having faith in God helps a lot. My faith in God is the only thing right now that keeps me sane and makes me smile. Yes, I wanted to have an ideal life in this world but I have to constantly tell myself that it is impossible because the only "ideal" place we can be is with God. This world is just temporary. But that does not mean we can't dream or aspire anything nice for our life, of course not! Still, we must work and persevere to utilize the life given to us by making the most out of it. We must make the most out of the blessings God has been giving us - whether it's financial blessing, physical, mental, etc. - we must put them to good use. But then our goals must not make us blind to God's promise of heaven with Him.

We might fail from achieving the things that we want but in the end, what matters most is that we tried our best to live a good life not just for ourselves but mainly for Him.

This post might raise questions about faith (or religion maybe) but I won't argue with anyone. These are my personal thoughts about my faith. Like what I have said, my faith in God keeps me sane. It makes me thankful. It makes me hopeful. And these feelings allow me to feel joy and happiness and in return glorify and praise God no matter what the circumstances are.

Peace.Love.Happiness.

Wedding and Marriage

A lot of celeb couples have been engaged this year. Their proposals have caused love to apparently be more popular than it already is. For someone at my age (and being in a very long committed relationship), I kind of feel the pressure of joining the pool. Though I'm not the one to ask, I feel like I want him to ask me already (although we already talked about it) and even if I know I still have tons of things that I wanna do before I get married.

These past few months, I've been thinking a lot about wedding preparations. I've been saving images for wedding essentials like gown designs, themed decors, etc. I keep on daydreaming about that day when I can get to wear my dream wedding gown and look like a queen in white. These daydreams made me feel frustrated as the days went by. Because I think about it too much, anxiety ruled over me. I worry that my dream wedding day won't come. I started having negative thoughts about my partner. Weeks passed by and my obsession with weddings grew as well as my frustrations until I came to a point where I don't understand myself anymore - I don't know what I want anymore - do I want to get married now? What about my priorities?

After trying hard to sort things out, I came to a realization - I want to be engaged, plan my wedding, make my dream wedding happen, BUT I don't want to get married yet.

Yes, confusing right? It took time before I figured that out. Just like other women out there (perhaps), I am excited about the thought of wearing that diamond ring in my finger, saying yes to my man, the cheers from our families and friends, the grandeur of a dream wedding day but I never thought of being married AFTER the wedding day. This realization helped me focus on my goals and priorities. Surely, getting married is part of the list but I know for sure that I don't want it for now. I must always remember (and all women out there as well) that the wedding day is just an icing on top of the cake, it's just the sauce on the spaghetti, creamer on the coffee - in short, wedding is not equivalent to marriage. Being excited for your wedding day does not mean that you are ready to get married.

(photo credit from http://izquotes.com/)

Peace.Love.Happiness.

Happy 8 years of twisted thoughts!

I was just looking at my blog when I decided to go down memory lane and check my very first post. I then noticed the date and remembered that it's August now and I started this blog in August also. To my surprise, my very first blog was dated Aug. 24, 2006 and the post entitled "Back to Blogging" was dated Aug. 24, 2014... it's been 8 years!Although I'm an on-off blogger, I am still happy that this blog has been part of my life. You can even see in my posts how I was 8 years ago - such an emo kid hahaha!

Happy 8 years to my blog!

Peace.Love.Happiness.

Back to blogging...

It's been a while (more than a year) since I last posted here. I even forgot what email address I used for this blog. I've been busy with a lot of things (which I will be sharing here since I would try my best to find time to write something at least once a week). Anyway, I just bumped into some inspiration to get back to blogging again and to work double(hopefully I can) in order for me to achieve my goals. The list of things that I want to accomplish for 2014 and 2015 is overflowing and I'm not sure if I can make it.

Please help me pray for God's continuous blessings of perseverance, faith, strength, knowledge and everything that I need to push through with my goals.

On my next post, I'll be sharing my experiences with UPOU and my journey in earning my master's degree. (I've shared here the essay I wrote as part of the requirements way back when I was still applying for an admission at UPOU.)

Peace.Love.Happiness.

Reviving My Blog

It has been a while, approximately 9 months and a week, since my last post. I cannot pinpoint why but maybe because I've been busy. Yup! I posted last year that I started my pursuit for a master's degree at UPOU and it has kept me busy considering that I still have to work.

Anyway, so much for my reasons, the idea of reviving this blog came to me after realizing that no matter how busy I can be, I can still have time if I want to. Writing has been my favorite hobby (since birth) and being busy should not be a reason for me to stop.

I've been very active in social networking (facebook actually) but blogging is still different. I want to revive not just this blog but part of my old self as well. I haven't written any article in a while (except for graded essays as requirements in my studies). I hope to motivate and inspire myself constantly so I can continue to live my dream of being a writer in my own way. Still, I'll write about anything under the sun - I'll share the simple thoughts of the twisted writer.

Peace.
Love.
Happiness.

It's been a while...

It's been a while and I haven't posted a blog article since when? November? Well, I guess I should spank myself for being such a reluctant blogger. This just proves that I am a moody person... I don't write when I'm not in the mood. When I started this blog, I just  wanted it to be a way to express how I feel. (And that can be proven with my blogs way back 2006). But then as I grew older, I think I became more mature and told myself that freedom of expression also comes with responsibility. And because of that, whenever I feel like putting all my thoughts into blogs, I have to think twice or maybe a hundred times and then I should decide if what I am about to post are worthy posting. I somehow believe that what you post reflects your personality. And we can always choose to improve our personality. I don't want my blogs to be just a mere reflection of negative vibes and whatever hatred I just suddenly feel towards people, hence, I want it to be worthy reading. But this does not excuse me for not posting that often. ☺ So I guess for 2012, I will put more effort in making my blog a true blog. ☺

Löve ♥ Peace ☮ Happiness ☺

Reasons for Hatred

Hatred is a negative feeling that humans normally feel for several reasons. They say that hatred is the absence of love but I don't really believe in that. Hatred and love can be felt towards someone or something at the same time. For me, hatred is actually better than being numb and not to feel anything. But why do we hate?

Setting modesty aside, I can say that I am indeed a nice person BUT I easily get irritated. I can classify this into two types: mild and serious. Mild irritation makes me feel hatred towards something or usually someone for a short period of time that once I have blurted it out I start to feel okay. I like it because I don't have to bear grudges in my heart. However, the other one is difficult to deal with.

I usually don't hate people in a serious level unless I have a reason. I cannot really assess why or how but based on my observation I feel this type of hatred whenever someone does a bad thing and just get away with it easily and even have the face and guts to appear as the opposite of what and who he/she is. I don't know why it is such a big deal for me when in truth it is really none of my business. Is it insecurity? Insecurity in a sense that others can do something bad and they don't feel guilty and I can't do the same. Sometimes I suddenly feel like I'm playing god that I want these people to be punished - that is why I feel serious hatred towards them.

I will not say that I am a righteous person but maybe I am self-righteous sometimes. As much as possible I try my best to do the right things although this is really a struggle in the real world. And because of this, I also want other people to do the same and since I can't control everyone, people who walk this life guilt-free with their wrongdoings get my serious-level hatred.

But I am not a god to be judgmental because even our real God is not. Nor am I a lawyer to question people. Right now, I am trying my best to let others live their lives considering that it is none of my business. On the other side, this attitude is actually just a result of my care for others and I am just afraid that along the way, I might just stop caring for those people too.

♥

Fight Anxiety

It has been my rule in life to never expect something good to avoid disappointments. However, no matter how hard we try not to expect, hope still exists. I always tell myself to hope for the best but expect the worst. But this sounds easier than done. No matter how much we convince ourselves that everything will be okay, still there's a little corner out there filled with anxiety. As far as I can remember, being anxious has been part of my personality since childhood. For some reasons, it's so easy for me to be worried and sometimes paranoid with the things happening around me. People who are very close to me who have known me since I was young tell me that I am idealistic that's why I always take things seriously and this is the reason why I always get anxious. I don't want to accept it but I am. If possible, I want things to be perfect and I want them to happen according to what I think is ideal. And when things go wrong or in a different direction as I am, then I get frustrated. Even though I am trying my best to change but it's difficult. I just want everything to be organized. It is so hard for me to put into reality that the world is composed of people with their own will and things happen according to the will of God.

At this moment, I remember the verse from the Bible that says:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Matthew 6: 25-33

I know these things that I feel are God's challenges to me that I have to face and conquer.  I have to believe that God believes in me and that I will be able to surpass His trials.
Sometimes, God let us suffer so that we can remember that we are not supernaturals, we are humans and we need Him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 

There had been several times that things did not happen according to my will and I asked God why. I was not able to get the answer right away but as the time goes by, God is eventually answering me.

No matter how much we plan for our lives, God will always have the best plan for us.

Emo Disorder

According to Wiki and as how the doctors describe it, Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder, historically known as manic–depressive disorder, is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated energy levels, cognition, and mood with or without one or more depressive episodes.

The definition might be a bit hard to comprehend.. but not with me or with anyone who has this kind of disorder. Whenever it strikes me, I just can't seem to control my emotions. Bipolar disorder has many effects and in my case, it makes me so depress that no matter what I think of I just feel so depressed and tears just keep falling from my eyes. What makes it worse is that it makes me so sensitive that I easily get irritated. I hate it but once it strikes me I become a slave.

On the other hand, if the "happy mood" strikes you, then you become very, very, very happy! ☺

It has been almost 4 months since my last episode and I thought that I'm already okay but just last night it hit again. It was a good thing that I was able to overcome it after a couple of hours and having someone who understands you can be really a great help.

When I was younger I thought that I'm just ordinarily moody until I reached the age 19 when I found out that it's something more serious. But I don't want to take it heavily and although it can be a burden, it would still be best to have a positive outlook in life.

For those of you who think they are experiencing emotional disorder, don't be afraid to consult people who can diagnose your situation and who can help you overcome whatever it may be.

♥


Consolation: Many people involved with creativity and arts, such as Vincent van Gogh, are believed to have suffered from bipolar disorder. (From Wiki)
*If it's true then at least we have something in common hahaha*

Thoughts on Relationships

The word relationship is a general term which refers to the connection of an individual whether to another individual or to a group. There are many types of relationship and the term can be used in different perspectives. But let us focus on the most common type of relationship – the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

This type of relationship is easy to understand. Both the male and the female have mutual feelings of love for each other. At this point, the term love is just used to refer to the different basis of the feelings shared by the two people involved in the relationship. Yes, a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship can have different basis or foundation, and more often than not, these things also determine the rate of success of the relationship. Let us find out what can be the different basis or foundation of a relationship?

Friendship – this is very common whether in real life or in movies. There are a lot of relationships that started from friendship – either you belong to the same circle of friends, childhood friends, best friends, or even just casual friends. For me, this could be a good foundation because in most cases, the people involved already know each other and won’t have a hard time in getting along. Others say that friends should not develop an intimate understanding because it is forbidden. But that is not true – friendship is a nice thing and does not forbid the gift of love. However, there will come a time that they might feel awkward especially when they start to realize that boyfriend-girlfriend is different from just being friends. But if they are able to survive this stage, then there is a big possibility that their relationship can be successful.

Courting – this refers to the process where the male pursuits the female. Courting also happens in the friendship category mentioned above but courting when the people barely know each other can be a different case. It usually goes like this: Mr. Guy saw Miss Girl and got attracted and he tried to find a way how to know Miss Girl. Finally he got the chance to be introduced and started asking her to go out and start knowing each other. During this stage, mutual feelings develop and finally Miss Girl would agree to have a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with Mr. Guy.

 *** But not all courting stories end like this :D There can be different versions such as: 1) Mr. Guy realized that he doesn’t really like Miss Girl so he would stop courting; 2) Miss Girl will not develop mutual feelings with Mr. Guy so at the end, its either she would say NO or LET’S JUST BE FRIENDS ☺***

With all the unique individuals in this world, there are unique love stories. Some are happy, some are not. But what makes a love story successful? Is it chocolates? Flowers? Dinner Dates? Hugs and kisses? Expensive gifts? Sweetness? NO. It’s a BIG NO. NO. NO. NO.

No matter how sweet your relationship is and no matter how luxurious your relationship can be – those things are not the basis of a strong and successful relationship.

FAITH – some synonyms of this word in the thesaurus are: confidence, trust, reliance, conviction, belief, assurance and devotion. By just reading these words, you might think that it is very difficult but it’s not. It’s just a matter of believing that your partner is a gift from God and that he or she is guided by God and that you have God in your relationship. You don’t have to be religious to have faith – all you need is to believe in the love that you  feel but once you doubt your love for each other, then it’s time for you to think and pray.

HONESTY – some synonyms are uprightness, morality, trustworthiness and decency. Yes, honesty is the best policy and indeed it is. But we can’t deny the fact that this is sooooo hard to do. Maybe there’s some thingy there in our brain which always initiate the will to lie. But just ALWAYS remember: A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON LIES IS A RELATIONSHIP THAT DIES. Never ever make lies as the foundation of your relationship, because you are not only lying to your partner but also to God and to yourself.

UNDERSTANDING – nobody in this world doesn’t need understanding. If you don’t want to understand then you don’t deserve to be understood. It’s as simple as that.

These things are just the basics – but they mean a lot and should be valued. And of course LOVE. But love is not just a single aspect because if you lack the things mentioned above, then what you feel is not love – it’s just a mere attraction.

Love is a gift from God. Love is the most wonderful thing that can be shared by two people – but this can only happen if both understand what it takes to love – faith, honesty and understanding. ♥♥♥

~Random Thoughts~

I just wanna share these thoughts that keep on popping in my head in the past few days:

♥


About success...
Success is a matter of perspective and should not be associated with achievements. It should be about happiness, contentment and fulfillment.
Because no matter how much someone has achieved in life but if that person is not happy nor contented nor fulfilled, then that person cannot be considered successful.
On the other hand, even though you have achieved little in this life but if your heart has happiness, contentment and fulfillment, then you have all the right to consider yourself successful.

♥

About teaching...
In life, you can only give what you have. And from the perspective of a teacher, you can only teach what you know. For you to teach more, you have to know more. And if you want to know more, you should not stop learning.. you should not stop seeking knowledge for you to have something more to share.
The moment you stop learning, you are also marking the day that you will stop teaching.

♥

~twistedwriter~