Meditating v3 - Am I a Loser?

Content/Trigger WARNING: Anxiety | Depression

Am I a loser?

In the past few weeks, I often found myself asking that question.
Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful to God for all the blessings that he has given me and is continuously giving me. After all the challenges that life has brought me, here I am, a survivor and still fighting to survive. I appreciate every little achievement that I have but I can't seem to shake off the feeling of being a loser. For some reason, I feel like I lack in something - something I don't understand.

I believe that aside from God, the only person who can decipher my puzzling personality is myself. Although I really can't figure out what is wrong, I will list them to probably help me answer my question.

1. I am not a friendly nor a sociable person. I only have very few friends. I am afraid of being rejected. I am very selective of the people whom I show who I am as a person. I am not comfortable being friends with everybody.
2. I am not adventurous. If I have extra time, I would rather spend it reading a book or staying at home busy with my phone or computer [See #1].
3. When I focus on my goal, I do exactly that --- focus! Right now, I am pursuing my Doctor's Degree and like what I have said, I am focused on it. Exams, requirements, paper works - these are the things that motivate me and give me purpose. I feel empty during sem breaks.

I can add more things to the list but then I realized that those things are related to the 3 listed above. If I would really push myself to point out the reason why I feel this way, I would say it's reason #1. I don't have social skills, whether in person or online. Some people may not be good to socialize in person but are virtually everyone's BFF --- but not me. Even on Facebook, I only have very few people that I actually interact with in comments or in private messages.

Anyway...

I love my life. I appreciate my life.
But out of nowhere, sometimes I just can't help but ask, "Am I a loser?"

My alter ego: We are all winners with God and in God.

Peace. Love. Happiness.