Still Me...

Out of boredom, i just thought of creating a blog.. as i went through the process of creating an account, i got a message that there is already an existing blog account with my email address.. then i remembered that i created this blog account almost 5 years ago.. way back when i was in college.
Since i want to entertain myself, i read my previous posts and was surprised to realize that somehow, i did not change at all. When i read my posts, i can say that it was really me who wrote them. The way i reacted to things 5 years ago is still the same as to how i react to things now that i am almost 24.
Indeed, it is true that change is the constant thing in this world. People do change. But as for me.. I'm still working on how to change my self.. for the better.
I'm a self-confessed drama queen.. and I don't like it either.
Well at least I am aware of it :) and I'm STILL doing my best to improve it. ♥

tired of spongebob mode....

spongebob mode...
i'm so sick and tired of it...

you can't do anything but just absorb everything!!!!
hell no!

that's not what studying means...

so it's time for...
devil spongebob!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (laughs!)

absorb then squeeze...
pour out everything...
and free yourself...
(laughs!)

oh no!

time for the exam...

that's what i mean pour out everything!!!

(laughs!)

Over Lunch...

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
It's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I am
stranded in the wrong time...
where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme,
a soundbite...

yourself is your worst "contrabida!"

This trimester could be the worst trimester for me so far...
yes... so far in Far Eastern University FERN College...
i don't know why...
maybe because im experiencing the difficulty of working and studying at the same time...
or maybe i'm just making my life more complicated... (laughs!)
actually...
i don't have to work while studying...
my father is even asking me to resign because he wants me to focus on my studies...
but of course...
I AM MHEI!
if i want it... i should get it... (laughs!)
see... so i am my own "contrabida"...
and im complaining but i can't do anything about it...
what am i gonna do???
Kill myself...
yeah...
i think i'm already doing that... (laughs!)
i don't know...
sometimes i just can't understand myself...
anyway...
-eof-
(can't think...im so hungry!!!!)

The Lesson...

Don't mistake art for compassion. Simply because you "care" in abstract does not mean you are noble or good. You once asked when you could live with nobility. Learning the difference between life and art would be a good start. That's the lesson I learned.

Egophobia...

Leaden treasure in the body,
Reasonable heart and medusa.
Bitterness flows out in crimson tears,
The eye its bleeding melancholy gives away,
From a ramified serpent, blue
Wailing to the sobbing beat
Of its heart, spitting.
Fierce assassinating disillusions,
Gun, dagger, vicious rope;
Sadness drowns in its incandescent flow
The spirit: pool of blood.
The body survives or does not...
The spirit... does not
The mirror scrutinises with hatred,
Hatred for the I who stands before,
Body and soul,
Ego... Phobia --
Egophobia
Longing for decay, for autodestruction.
Loving -- comitting suicide
Love is suicide
I am here

-cradle of filth-

Twisted thoughts?????

uh-huh!!!

so im on this "bloggy thingy" now...

just trying...

maybe this could help...

but i got to go...

i have a lot of things to do...

-carpe diem-