on a rainy afternoon...

Rain, rain go away.. Come again another day...

This is one of the songs I learned when I was still a little child. I am lucky that my mother taught me a lot of nursery rhymes and children songs. I just suddenly remembered this song because it's raining again. Some people say that when it rains, the heaven is crying that is why the ambiance seems to be gloomy. What's more funny is that when it's raining and the sun is up, it means that there is a frog or a horse wedding going on somewhere out there :) Hahahaha!


Even though rain has a scientific explanation, I am still amused at how people give different interpretations when it rains. Well, sometimes I love it when it rains because it gives me the opportunity to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee and a warm, comforting hug. But there are also times that I hate rain especially when I'm still at the office because it's really difficult to go home when it's raining cats and dogs.  Sometimes even a big umbrella is useless.


Whether we like it or not, rain is part of nature and it has a significant role in the cycle of life - and let us just enjoy the raindrops in any way we can.
♥

The feeling of fulfillment :)(Part 1)

I love to write. I write just about anything. I don't have a specific style in writing. I just love to write to express, share my views or sometimes to inform. I've been involved in writing since I was in elementary. I started as a news writer for our school paper then became the associate editor. ☺

During high school, I became a feature writer and have actively participated in campus journalism and conferences. To God be the glory that I also won several awards and I also became the editor-in-chief of our school paper. ☺

Summer before I entered college, I thought of taking up a degree in Journalism or Creative Writing. However, my father was against it. So to make the long story short, I ended up with a degree in Computer Science.

When I was in college I thought that I will no longer be able to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. But then I realized that if I really have the passion to write then I can write - it doesn't have to be my profession - because writing is more of a passion than a profession. A professor of mine in college noticed that passion and he encouraged me to join journalism competitions. With God's grace I was able to succeed and once again became an editor-in-chief, this time for our college newsletter. ☺

Reminiscing those things really makes me feel so fulfilled that somehow I was able to share something that God has given me. I know that I am NOT a perfect writer. My works are still subject to errors and corrections. But through the years, I've learned that what matters most is not how good you write but your intentions in writing and the amount of dedication your put to it.

My passion, dedication, love and respect for writing are the things that makes me continue in pursuing my dream. And I hope that I would still have the opportunity to write as long as I am able.

♥

Shaky Hands

I don't know what happened to me today. I woke up feeling so sick - cough is still on plus a headache. But there's nothing to worry about - I got up, prepared my uniform, took a bath and got ready to go to school. As soon as I arrived at the office, I started to do my paper works - recorded my students' scores on the previous quiz. Then I noticed that something is wrong. My hands were so shaky. I tried to make them relax but it didn't work. I felt afraid and had negative thoughts. Maybe I just need some rest. Yes! I need some time to rest and relax - but those are the things that I cannot afford right now and I don't know why!

Why is it that sometimes, the simplest things in life are so difficult to have?

Well, maybe because these things are priceless.

And maybe because the are times that we choose to work rather than rest and relax.

Better be silent than tell lies...

The truth shall prevail. This is a very popular statement, but is it true or is it just another lie? Another statement: Honesty is the best policy. Is it?

Truth - the meaning of this simple word has been drastically changed by people depending on their principles about it. The truth must be absolute, it should be objective. But as the society dictates, it is the opposite.

The truth is no longer the truth but it is what people believe no matter if it is a lie. But who invented lies? Why do people lie?

The main purpose of a lie is to cover up the truth. Lies are told because there is fear - fear of the consequences of what the truth might bring. Indeed, the truth doesn't always give us a happy ending. There are times that we have to accept the fact that the truth hurts - difficult may be but this is part of life.

Countless people have told lies (including me) in order to cover the truth - truth that can be painful, truth that can be shameful. But then I realize, if we don't want to unleash the truth, then why not just avoid it? Isn't it better to be silent and keep our mouth shut than to talk and tell nothing but lies?

Let's analyze the two options:
Telling lies - completely wrong
Being silent - not wrong but doesn't justify that it is right

So I'll just leave this question to you, which is a better option?
Hint: Choose the lesser of two evils.

:)

Still Me...

Out of boredom, i just thought of creating a blog.. as i went through the process of creating an account, i got a message that there is already an existing blog account with my email address.. then i remembered that i created this blog account almost 5 years ago.. way back when i was in college.
Since i want to entertain myself, i read my previous posts and was surprised to realize that somehow, i did not change at all. When i read my posts, i can say that it was really me who wrote them. The way i reacted to things 5 years ago is still the same as to how i react to things now that i am almost 24.
Indeed, it is true that change is the constant thing in this world. People do change. But as for me.. I'm still working on how to change my self.. for the better.
I'm a self-confessed drama queen.. and I don't like it either.
Well at least I am aware of it :) and I'm STILL doing my best to improve it. ♥

tired of spongebob mode....

spongebob mode...
i'm so sick and tired of it...

you can't do anything but just absorb everything!!!!
hell no!

that's not what studying means...

so it's time for...
devil spongebob!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (laughs!)

absorb then squeeze...
pour out everything...
and free yourself...
(laughs!)

oh no!

time for the exam...

that's what i mean pour out everything!!!

(laughs!)

Over Lunch...

Sometimes it's hard to know where I stand,
It's hard to know where I am,
Well maybe it's a puzzle I don't understand.
Sometimes I get the feeling that I am
stranded in the wrong time...
where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme,
a soundbite...

yourself is your worst "contrabida!"

This trimester could be the worst trimester for me so far...
yes... so far in Far Eastern University FERN College...
i don't know why...
maybe because im experiencing the difficulty of working and studying at the same time...
or maybe i'm just making my life more complicated... (laughs!)
actually...
i don't have to work while studying...
my father is even asking me to resign because he wants me to focus on my studies...
but of course...
I AM MHEI!
if i want it... i should get it... (laughs!)
see... so i am my own "contrabida"...
and im complaining but i can't do anything about it...
what am i gonna do???
Kill myself...
yeah...
i think i'm already doing that... (laughs!)
i don't know...
sometimes i just can't understand myself...
anyway...
-eof-
(can't think...im so hungry!!!!)

The Lesson...

Don't mistake art for compassion. Simply because you "care" in abstract does not mean you are noble or good. You once asked when you could live with nobility. Learning the difference between life and art would be a good start. That's the lesson I learned.

Egophobia...

Leaden treasure in the body,
Reasonable heart and medusa.
Bitterness flows out in crimson tears,
The eye its bleeding melancholy gives away,
From a ramified serpent, blue
Wailing to the sobbing beat
Of its heart, spitting.
Fierce assassinating disillusions,
Gun, dagger, vicious rope;
Sadness drowns in its incandescent flow
The spirit: pool of blood.
The body survives or does not...
The spirit... does not
The mirror scrutinises with hatred,
Hatred for the I who stands before,
Body and soul,
Ego... Phobia --
Egophobia
Longing for decay, for autodestruction.
Loving -- comitting suicide
Love is suicide
I am here

-cradle of filth-

Twisted thoughts?????

uh-huh!!!

so im on this "bloggy thingy" now...

just trying...

maybe this could help...

but i got to go...

i have a lot of things to do...

-carpe diem-